Surviving Empathy: My Personal Toolkit


I’m not going be one of those people that complain about their sensitivities, playing the victim card of “It’s so hard being so intuitive” (imagine the statement in the hushed whine of an ‘ultra spiritual person’ that sits non-judgementally in judgement of all of the ways that you could be more spiritually enlightened).  That being said, yes, sometimes it really is hard, especially for the natural empaths out there.

Empaths pick up on everyone emotions, especially the ‘louder’ (e.g. the more unpleasant) ones.  The same holds true for physical sensations, especially pain.  And trying to find the “off switch” is like trying to find your keys buried in the bottom of your purse or gym bag when you really REALLY need to get inside right now! That’s why I’d like to share my personal favorite ways of dealing with empathic overload.

There are a variety of ways to address excess emotional energy, and basically all of these ways involve grounding and clearing the energy off of you.

Favorite Stone for Dealing with Empathy:  Black Tourmaline

Black tourmaline is a fantastic grounding stone.  It’s also an AMAZING protector, helping to keep your energy field in tip top shape. I love the personality I feel from black tourmaline, and I also find it very helpful with keeping the ‘sticky’ electromagnetic energies at bay that you get from computers and like.  I wanted to lead with stones on this little list because it’s really easy to access the energy of stones for their intended purpose: you carry them. They can be in your pocket, in your bag, in a piece of pretty jewelry, tucked in your bra (yep, that’s right, I said it.)  With some stones, you can also make a gem elixir to bring that energy of grounding and protection directly into your body.  To make a gem elixir, place the stone in a clear glass or crystal bowl and pour water over it to cover it.  Then place the bowl in the sun for 3- 8 hours.  Alternatively, you can suspend the stone over boiling water for about 20 minutes, allowing the water vapor to condense on the stone and drip back down into the water. You can also just drop the stone in a water bottle and then allow healing energy to flow through your hands as you charge the water up. (This works especially well with Reiki.)  I’ve found the sunning method to produce the strongest results for me, and many people use this to produce an elixir that ‘enhances in potency per dilution priniciples’. (In other words, you would dilute it in the same way you would to create a homeopathic remedy).  I’m not that fancy, so I just drink the water though.  Some other stones you may want to look into for consideration:  Smoky Quartz, Hematite, Kyanite (especially the Black variety for empaths) and Citrine. ***Research the stones to make sure they are safe to make elixirs with. Some stones can leech poisonous or harmful minerals into the water. Other stones can dissolve into the water (such as selenite).***

Favorite ‘Break Glass in case of Emergency’ Method of Dealing with Empathy:  Heavy Food

That’s right.  EAT SOMETHING!!! And make it meaty and starchy if your diet allows.  This is a great way to bring yourself back into your own skin.  This is also a fairly socially acceptable thing.  Nobody is going to bat an eye if you say “I’m feeling a little spacy. I think I need a cheeseburger.” The danger in this way of dealing with ungroundedness is that you can become reliant on it.  You shouldn’t have to eat a crappy calorie laden meal to ground yourself. This should be reserved for those times that you just can’t shake everybody’s mess off of you.  And yes, it can still work for the vegetarians.  (I was vegan for a good long time, and trust me – the food trick worked without animal products). Potatoes seemed to work best for me, way better than veggie burgers.  You just want something heavy.  Other (healthier) ways of forcibly grounding that mess off of you is to wash your hands in very cold water,  or rub a spoon on the bottom of your feet. These ways can work just as well as a heavy meal, but, you know, I really like cheeseburgers.

Favorite Maintenance Method of Dealing with Empathy:  Spiritual Baths

Ok folks, if you’re empathically sensitive, you should really be taking yourself through grounding and centering (as well as visualized shielding) on a daily basis. That’s a given.  I do it several times a day actually.  But what I really enjoy:  a relaxing bathtub filled with hot water with blessed sea salt, hyssop and lavender essential oils.  Sometimes it’s a cup of apple cider vinegar and epsom salts.  Sometimes it’s an herbal blend for spiritual cleansing.  This helps to bring the brain back to center, and align the energies in the most amazing and relaxing way.  I try to do this at least once a week to help maintain my sunny disposition and keep the ickys off of me.  This is not a replacement for grounding and centering, nor should it take the place of daily meditation and exercise to help keep you in alignment.  Ideally, you should be sitting in meditation (which should included a grounding and centering) for about 10-15 minutes per day, exercising at least a half an hour every other day, and using techniques like a spiritual bath to help bolster your energies into alignment about once a week.

Other points to consider when dealing with empathy:

Getting enough sleep

Keeping your personal space uncluttered

Keeping your personal space clear of bad vibes

Feeding your Spirit (volunteering, spiritual groups/churches, etc.)


Being in nature (especially ‘Earthing’ – go barefoot!)

Having someone to talk it out with

Knowing and honoring your self and your truth

Owning when it IS your emotion, even when you’d rather that it was someone else’s junk

This is a very short list of ways that you can keep your empathy as an ally, instead of letting turn into a dragon that you want to slay.  Trust me when I say it’s far better to deal with empathy in an ongoing/maintenance capacity than to let it overtake you and then you try to regain control.  And no, you’re not expected to be perfect.  There will be days where you say ‘Screw meditating/exercising/bathing/etc’.  You are allowed.  Just try a few of these methods and see if they work for you. Give it a shot, and if they don’t improve your quality of life, so be it – you can disregard them.  Not everything will work for everyone.  But if they don’t work for you now, try them again in a couple of months and see.

Also remember this is MY list of favorites. Which means that these are MY preferences.  That does NOT mean that these are going the BEST methods. Pick and choose, and let experience be your guide.  I hope that these tips speak equally to your soul and your sensibility.  And more than that, I hope that you have FUN trying them out!

Brightest Blessings!



Getting Out of Your Own Way


It’s one thing to state that we create our own reality, to believe it. It’s another when we can see the workings of how we’ve created it, and it isn’t necessarily pretty. We frequently get caught in a cycle of attracting what we don’t want, and it primarily boils down to three main reasons:

  1. Focusing on what we DON’T want to manifest instead of what we do
  2. Fear, and lastly
  3. Not being clear on what it is we actually want

It is a deceptively easy practice to fall into putting our focus on what we don’t want instead of keeping our eyes on the actual goal.  As a matter of fact, it’s a necessary part of the process of creating a life that you desire to develop opinions, which means that you will need to be aware that there are things out there that aren’t to your taste.  When it becomes a problem is when these dislikes begin to drive your desires and what you’re manifesting in your life.  (More on this in a moment.)

Fear seems like a pretty straightforward hindrance to your happiness, but it wears many different guises and creeps into places that it just doesn’t belong.  Worry and anxiety are thinly veiled forms of fear, but sometimes it can also convince you that it’s actually ‘kindhearted concern’ or ‘common sense’, when really it’s just that part of yourself that wants to displace your desires to maintain the world that you know.  Let’s face it, change is hard.  The unknown can be scary. But it’s also exciting, exhilarating and that’s where the magic happens! Think about it – does the caterpillar shed its skin and don its wings in plain sight of everyone? No – it does it in its private little cocoon, out of sight and away from the rest of the world.

When we focus our thoughts and create our reality, our biggest hurdle is usually ourselves.  We contradict ourselves, if not in our thoughts, in the conflicting emotions that drive our manifestations. We can think that we are crystal clear on what it is that we want, and yet never see it reflected in the physical manifestation of our lives.  We can light candles, say prayers, create vision boards, do affirmations, and be patient, and look for it, and……..nothing.  Why do you think that is?

Because we don’t know ourselves.  We ignore the parts of what we’re feeling because we think that we ‘shouldn’t be’ feeling that way because it will get in the way of what we are manifesting.  But when we feel fear, we aren’t meant to ignore it. We’re meant to explore it. Why are we fearful? What is this fear? What am I actually fearing? What is it about this particular thing or situation that I feel pulls me out of alignment with the flow of Infinite Love?

When addressing fear in particular, you can’t think that you’re going to resolve it with logic.  What you have to do is dig into the feeling and get to know it.  Determine if it’s a good fear or a bad fear.  The way that I do this is by sinking into the feeling and I see if I can describe it with something else.  Is it exhilarating, exciting, overwhelming, do I just not want to do this, etc.? If it’s a good fear (exhilarating, exciting, etc.) then I can just re-align and adjust, and what was standing in the way of my manifesting is now fueling it! Now, if it’s a ‘bad fear’, (overwhelming, I don’t want to actually do this, etc.) then you need to actually look at what you’re trying to bring into manifestation because you probably don’t actually want it. Unfortunately, there’s not an easy way to resolve this conflict – you have to dig deep and figure out what it is that you really actually want; otherwise you’re going to just continue to sabotage your efforts.

We also unconsciously sabotage ourselves when we don’t realize that our ‘desires’ are really just reactions to what we don’t want. Think about this – is there a silent implication attached to the reality that you’re manifesting? For instance, are you focused on manifesting a job that pays a six figure income? Did this desire come about in response to feeling undervalued, underpaid or underappreciated in your current position? So then, is your desire really “a job that pays a six figure income” or is it “a job that pays a six figure income” with a silent “(unlike the crappy position I’m in now where I make a pittance and feel underappreciated)”?

Our experiences give us the roadmap to understanding what it is that we desire, but the trick to manifesting the life we desire is to find that which we desire even in the circumstances that are overall not desirable. In other words, yes you may want a job that appreciates you more, and part of this appreciation is paying you what you feel you deserve to be paid for the work that you do. To begin the process of creating this, you can’t hold your current situation as a stark contrast of what you don’t want.  Seeds don’t grow in a barren field, and this includes seeds of desire. You have to find the appreciation in your current situation, and then you put your focus there. You put your energy there. You find the co-worker that does appreciate you and you go out of your way to share your appreciation with them.  You grow your appreciation, and then extend it and begin to notice the little things that you like that you’d want to experience in the next position. It may be as simple as ‘I really like having the coffee station this close to my workspace’. Grow it into an experience of gratitude.

Manifesting isn’t about accumulating the most ‘cool stuff’, bigger paychecks, or any of that external crap.  It’s about placing yourself into a space of alignment and being brave enough to know what you desire, and then to watch that unfold into the world around you.  When we live in a space of alignment, when we know our own truth intimately and to follow it, then we can live in the world of our desire.  We all deserve to live in a space beyond our own fear.  The Universe itself is perpetually expanding, so why are holding ourselves to less of a standard? Allow yourself to expand beyond your fears; let them to become excitement! Allow yourself to know your desires intimately as you come to know yourself. And allow your Universe to reflect those desires into the world around you. Sometimes it’s just about realizing that you were getting in your own way.


A Psychic’s Guide to Dreams

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Dreams are a realm that many people feel cut off from.  For millennia, dreams have been acknowledged as a source of spiritual guidance and inspiration, yet many of us have difficulty grasping this for the simple reason that they don’t remember their dreams. I’m lucky because I am a dreamer. I grew up in a family and culture that reveres the wisdom of the dream world, and uses it to guide us.  Most of the time my dreams are simply my subconscious processing the events of my day, possibly with a ‘hint’ of what’s to come.  Sometimes though, my dreams are the landscape of powerful wisdom lessons from my guides.

There is a distinctly different tone to these dreams – an air of spiritual importance.  Most frequently they are reminders of the spiritual lessons that I’m processing through, and offer a sense of hope, as well as guidance to better navigate my challenges.  Sometimes these dreams enact coming events, but this is rare. Most of the glimpses into future provided by my dreams are conveyed symbolically, which is the case with most people, and even the most prophetic dreams are still influenced by your own psyche.

I can tell when I’ve had such a dream by the emotional tone that it strikes.  Simply put, it ‘feels important, significant’.  When I wake with this feeling, I immediately grab my notebook and pen (kept on my nightstand) and begin to write the dream down. First, I outline the components that stand out the most. This is usually a simple list, such as: castle, ocean, harlequin and mermaid.  I also list all of the ‘characters’ that I recognize, which may be friends, family or even celebrities. Then I write the dream out in a narrative form.  The reason I make a list of components before I just write the dream out as a story? For me, these help to trigger stronger memories of the dream.  Sometimes by the time I’m writing the last part of my dream down in narrative form, I discover that I’m already forgetting details, or even entire sequences in the dream. The list helps me to piece more information together.

Once I’ve recorded my dream, I leave it alone for a bit. I have breakfast, relax and wake up. Then I revisit the dream and begin to try to interpret it.  At first glance, I’m frequently overwhelmed by this. I just do the best that I can to interpret the symbolism and write it down. Then I often get a second interpretation. I will work with another intuitive to see how they would interpret my dream, which usually opens a whole new arena of insight for me.  I feel that it’s always good to get an outside perspective, and this is frequently what helps me to feel confident in the messages that I’m receiving from my dreams.

Understanding your dreams is frequently a hurdle that many people don’t even get to enjoy because they don’t ever remember what happens in the dremascape. Some people don’t believe they dream at all! (Or if they do, they don’t think they can ever remember their dreams.) It’s my belief that you can train yourself to have a fantastic dream recall. Here are a few techniques and things to consider to help you remember your dreams.

First, you should consider your sleep schedule.  Are you getting enough sleep? If not, I’ve found that dream recall suffers. A good way to tell if you are getting enough sleep is by looking at how long you sleep on days that you can turn your alarm off and sleep in.  How much sleep do you get when you’re not being woken up by an alarm? Are you waking refreshed? Typically most people require between 7-10 hours of sleep a night. If no amount of sleep seems to ever be enough, then it’s probably time to check in with your doctor. Conditions such as sleep apnea can severely inhibit quality sleep time, making your sleep debt overwhelming. Believe or not, regular exercise can also help you feel stronger and more alert, as well as positively impact your sleep.

If you know that you’re getting enough sleep, but you still aren’t able to remember your dreams, then a few simple techniques and tricks can be employed.  The dream world is not generally valued in our modern day culture, so sometimes it’s a part of our own brain that blocks our memory of dreaming. This can be countered and redirected through the use of affirmations. When crafting an affirmation, make sure that the statement is put in the present tense, and is positive in it’s tone, such as “I have full recollection and understanding of my dreams.” Keeping it short and sweet has proven helpful to me as well. Repeat the affirmation at least 50 times to yourself as you lay in bed preparing for sleep. You don’t have to say it out loud, but it does help to at least move your lips as if you were speaking the affirmation.

You should also keep a dream journal and pen on your nightstand, and you should record an entry each morning even if you don’t recall your dreams. You should write in the journal upon waking before your feet touch the ground.  Your entry should begin “What I recall most vividly from my dream is……….”. Even if your entry reads “what I recall most vividly from my dream is nothing”, writing this down begins to show the importance you are ascribing to your dreams to your subconscious mind. This will train your brain to begin to store the dream memories in places where they can be more easily accessed by your conscious mind.

Many people like to pray for direction to come in their dreams.  This was commonly seen in old pagan temples, where people could pray to a particular god or spirit and sleep in their temple to dream for messages of healing or guidance. The biblical verse Deuteronomy 29:29 is frequently prayed repeatedly at night to ‘dream true’ in many Southern households. Any heartfelt appeal to spirit can be effective in inviting divine guidance into our dreams, but is not a substitute for the other techniques already discussed. It is lazy to assume that the realm of spirit should do all the work to get a message across to you if you aren’t willing to put in some work to have better dream recall.

The process of strengthening your dream recall frequently doesn’t bear immediate fruits.  Sometimes it can take weeks of dedicated affirmations and dream journal entries before you begin to remember bits and pieces of your dreams.  The more focus you put on working towards dream recall, the more that you will begin to be able to remember.

In short, make sure that you are getting enough quality sleep; keep a dream journal that you write in each morning before your feet hit the floor; use affirmations and prayers to strengthen your spiritual connection through dreams; and most importantly have patience – it may take a while to hone these skills. These tips and tricks will serve you well in learning to recall your dreams.

Remembering and understanding dreams can be daunting tasks, but the rewards are well worth the effort.  The insight and healing that you can derive from your dreamtime can aid in your healing, spiritual development, and general understanding of the world around you.  So grab your dream journal, tuck yourself in and, until next time, sweet dreams and brightest blessings,


Reflection: A little about me

So I decided to update my blog and start using it again. I completely revamped the look of the blog site, changing everything top to bottom to bring it up to date! I then noticed that I had some very out of date links to my old website, so I changed those as well.  This prompted me to go through and start looking at some of the posts…… I ended up weeding out a lot of old posts. Many of these simply because they were out of date (such as when I was doing Energy Updates – astrological type forecasts – from back in 2008). But what really struck me was my post – A Little About Me.

In this post, I wrote about my aspirations, goals and ambitions. I also wrote about my life and it painted such a lovely picture…..of who I was.  It really struck such a chord with me because none of what was written – nothing – was up to date.  I was dumbfounded. Many of these goals and ambitions have since changed and evolved.  Some have come to fruition. A few, I’m still working on. As for the glimpse of the life I shared in that post, it is all but a memory now.

At first, I had the reaction that many people may have – self-deprecation. How could I let something get so out of date? But — and I’m very proud at how quickly I checked myself on this — I was able to move almost instantly into the space of seeing it as a blessing.  What a wonderful gift from Spirit to be able to re-introduce myself. And what a divine reminder to check-in with how far I’ve come, and how I’ve grown.

We are in a perpetual process of discovering ourselves, defining who we are. Like trees in the most ancient forests, we never stop growing. We never stop seeking the warmth of the light that guides us; as long as our roots are firmly planted, our souls can be properly nourished on this journey of spirit.

So, without further ado, this is where my beautiful journey has brought me to…..

I’m Elige Stewart, a psychic medium in Lansing, Michigan.  While I enjoy writing, I find that I don’t do nearly enough of it for my taste.  I live with a seizure disorder, which I found out about in my mid-twenties, and definitely influences most areas of my life.  I love dance – especially tribal belly dance – but my true passion has always been service to Spirit, which I express through mediumship and teaching spiritually based classes, but also more quietly through volunteerism and giving back to the community.  I consider myself a Spiritualist, but that’s more because I feel that the Divine is far too big to fit into any one religion.  I’m a mystic – I want to feel Spirit for myself. But truthfully, these are just labels, and many times labels just get in the way.

My current goals are to express more gratitude, live more joyfully, write more often (including at least weekly blog posts), live in the moment, get my activity level up again, and know that I am being the best Me that I can be.

My professional goals are to work platform/offer gallery readings (group or audience mediumship readings), publish more writing – preferably in book form, and to be able to travel and offer classes and readings.