Getting Out of Your Own Way


It’s one thing to state that we create our own reality, to believe it. It’s another when we can see the workings of how we’ve created it, and it isn’t necessarily pretty. We frequently get caught in a cycle of attracting what we don’t want, and it primarily boils down to three main reasons:

  1. Focusing on what we DON’T want to manifest instead of what we do
  2. Fear, and lastly
  3. Not being clear on what it is we actually want

It is a deceptively easy practice to fall into putting our focus on what we don’t want instead of keeping our eyes on the actual goal.  As a matter of fact, it’s a necessary part of the process of creating a life that you desire to develop opinions, which means that you will need to be aware that there are things out there that aren’t to your taste.  When it becomes a problem is when these dislikes begin to drive your desires and what you’re manifesting in your life.  (More on this in a moment.)

Fear seems like a pretty straightforward hindrance to your happiness, but it wears many different guises and creeps into places that it just doesn’t belong.  Worry and anxiety are thinly veiled forms of fear, but sometimes it can also convince you that it’s actually ‘kindhearted concern’ or ‘common sense’, when really it’s just that part of yourself that wants to displace your desires to maintain the world that you know.  Let’s face it, change is hard.  The unknown can be scary. But it’s also exciting, exhilarating and that’s where the magic happens! Think about it – does the caterpillar shed its skin and don its wings in plain sight of everyone? No – it does it in its private little cocoon, out of sight and away from the rest of the world.

When we focus our thoughts and create our reality, our biggest hurdle is usually ourselves.  We contradict ourselves, if not in our thoughts, in the conflicting emotions that drive our manifestations. We can think that we are crystal clear on what it is that we want, and yet never see it reflected in the physical manifestation of our lives.  We can light candles, say prayers, create vision boards, do affirmations, and be patient, and look for it, and……..nothing.  Why do you think that is?

Because we don’t know ourselves.  We ignore the parts of what we’re feeling because we think that we ‘shouldn’t be’ feeling that way because it will get in the way of what we are manifesting.  But when we feel fear, we aren’t meant to ignore it. We’re meant to explore it. Why are we fearful? What is this fear? What am I actually fearing? What is it about this particular thing or situation that I feel pulls me out of alignment with the flow of Infinite Love?

When addressing fear in particular, you can’t think that you’re going to resolve it with logic.  What you have to do is dig into the feeling and get to know it.  Determine if it’s a good fear or a bad fear.  The way that I do this is by sinking into the feeling and I see if I can describe it with something else.  Is it exhilarating, exciting, overwhelming, do I just not want to do this, etc.? If it’s a good fear (exhilarating, exciting, etc.) then I can just re-align and adjust, and what was standing in the way of my manifesting is now fueling it! Now, if it’s a ‘bad fear’, (overwhelming, I don’t want to actually do this, etc.) then you need to actually look at what you’re trying to bring into manifestation because you probably don’t actually want it. Unfortunately, there’s not an easy way to resolve this conflict – you have to dig deep and figure out what it is that you really actually want; otherwise you’re going to just continue to sabotage your efforts.

We also unconsciously sabotage ourselves when we don’t realize that our ‘desires’ are really just reactions to what we don’t want. Think about this – is there a silent implication attached to the reality that you’re manifesting? For instance, are you focused on manifesting a job that pays a six figure income? Did this desire come about in response to feeling undervalued, underpaid or underappreciated in your current position? So then, is your desire really “a job that pays a six figure income” or is it “a job that pays a six figure income” with a silent “(unlike the crappy position I’m in now where I make a pittance and feel underappreciated)”?

Our experiences give us the roadmap to understanding what it is that we desire, but the trick to manifesting the life we desire is to find that which we desire even in the circumstances that are overall not desirable. In other words, yes you may want a job that appreciates you more, and part of this appreciation is paying you what you feel you deserve to be paid for the work that you do. To begin the process of creating this, you can’t hold your current situation as a stark contrast of what you don’t want.  Seeds don’t grow in a barren field, and this includes seeds of desire. You have to find the appreciation in your current situation, and then you put your focus there. You put your energy there. You find the co-worker that does appreciate you and you go out of your way to share your appreciation with them.  You grow your appreciation, and then extend it and begin to notice the little things that you like that you’d want to experience in the next position. It may be as simple as ‘I really like having the coffee station this close to my workspace’. Grow it into an experience of gratitude.

Manifesting isn’t about accumulating the most ‘cool stuff’, bigger paychecks, or any of that external crap.  It’s about placing yourself into a space of alignment and being brave enough to know what you desire, and then to watch that unfold into the world around you.  When we live in a space of alignment, when we know our own truth intimately and to follow it, then we can live in the world of our desire.  We all deserve to live in a space beyond our own fear.  The Universe itself is perpetually expanding, so why are holding ourselves to less of a standard? Allow yourself to expand beyond your fears; let them to become excitement! Allow yourself to know your desires intimately as you come to know yourself. And allow your Universe to reflect those desires into the world around you. Sometimes it’s just about realizing that you were getting in your own way.