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When someone you love is on a healing journey

This article takes a harsher tone and uses coarser language than I normally would take in a writing piece. I’ve chosen not to edit them out to help convey the gravity of my vantage point on this topic.

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In this wonderful and amazing world of metaphysical adventure, I sometimes notice some things that truly disturb me.  Most of these things seem to revolve around healing.  Specifically, the observations that disturb me are centered around people’s expectations of healing, and the willingness some people have to chime in to explain how someone else’s healing process can be improved.  I feel the need to share some hard truths that aren’t always addressed in metaphysical or spiritual circles.

For starters, someone else’s healing process is none of your business. If someone is gracing you with enough trust to share their healing process, then feel blessed.  If they aren’t asking your opinion, then please assume that it isn’t welcome, warranted, or helpful. If you are invited to share in their healing journey, remember that you are a guest – not the host.  Stay in your lane.

This isn’t to say that you can’t share your perspective or insight – IF YOU ARE INVITED TO DO SO.  Most of the time what’s needed most is a listening ear.  Being able to talk things out can help the healing journey more than anything shared from an outside person.  That simply can’t be done if when your loved one is trying to weigh their need to express themselves against the onslaught of opinion and directive (which they probably recognize as well meaning and from a place of love).

Here’s the truth that you already know from personal experience, but most likely need reminding about when it applies to someone else: Until a person is ready to listen to someone else’s perspective on their life, your opinion/insight/experience/etc. is most likely falling on deaf ears, no matter how brilliant and life changing it may be.  What’s more, if you share your perspective when someone isn’t ready to hear it yet, your words stand a really good chance of becoming background noise.  If your words become background noise, then no matter how many times you say it in however many different ways, your perspective will remain unrelatable. Don’t think that by saying your piece more frequently, more loudly, or more dramatically will make your perspective heard – it’s not about how you’re sharing! It’s about the timing of being able to accept and incorporate another person’s insight. All of the convincing in the world can’t make someone ready to hear and actually consider something when they aren’t ready to.

Let’s change the focus for moment here: What is your true motivation for sharing with your friend or loved one?  Yes, I know it’s because you don’t like seeing them in pain or suffering.That’s a given.  (If you did like to see them suffer, then you are sick sociopathic fuck that doesn’t deserve their friendship or adoration.) Why else? Does watching their journey evoke the feelings of your own struggles? Is your reaction from a place of fear on their behalf? Or do you just think that you can deal with their struggles better than they are at the moment?

A fear based reaction is still a fear based reaction, regardless of how founded your fears may be.  Fear does not support healing.  If you actually desire a person’s healing, projecting your fears onto them is not going to be supportive.  It’s natural to worry; we all do it (some more than others).  While energetically, this isn’t the most supportive thing you can do, in the end a little bit of worry isn’t something that’s terribly detrimental. It’s actually perfectly natural.  It becomes detrimental when you let the worry into the driver’s seat, and feel the need to for someone else to have the same level of concern as you.  When you worry to this degree, on some level you aren’t trusting that the person you’re worrying about is able to take care of themselves.  What most people going through healing really need is your confidence, not your concern.

If you are reacting from a place that evokes your own fears, or you think that you’re better equipped to handle the situation, then it’s really time to let them focus on their own healing journey while you work on your own.  These two perspectives boil back down to ego, and frequently ego is rearing it’s head to hide an area of abrasion that you could still use some work on.  Notice that I’m not necessarily saying that you’re wrong – you may ACTUALLY be better equipped to handle the situation that they are going through.  That said, it still isn’t your journey, and no true healing is done by another’s hand.  Empathizing and letting the person know that you’ve survived a similar healing journey is appropriate.  This let’s them know where to turn once they are ready to ask for help or direction. Giving the person unsolicited direction on how to ‘best cope’ – not ok, probably not welcome, and likely not even heard.

Another point that seems like a natural response is to try to distract the person from what’s going on in their life.  This sometimes works, and many times it does not.  When it fails on an epic scale is usually when a person chooses to try a distraction because another person’s healing moment is making them uncomfortable.  Guess what – a lot of shit makes a lot of people uncomfortable! If someone trusts you enough to bring it up with you, then don’t shut them down because it makes you a bit squeamish.  (Or if you have to, own up to it and just say that you’re uncomfortable talking about whatever was making you feel that way. If they have the balls to talk about what they’re going through, you should at least have the respect to speak plainly about how it makes you feel.)

So what can you do for someone that’s at a tough point in their healing journey?  I know that it seems like your hands are completely tied, but healing and growth are messy, sticky, crazy and generally fucked up situations.  There’s nothing easy about either experience.  That said, there are things you can do. Listen. Empathize. Support their ability to take charge of their journey.  Love them. Call them out on when they cross boundaries (which frequently happens while we are in a moment of healing/growth crisis). Sit through the uncomfortable parts.  Forgive.  Hold space.  While this may all seem passive, it’s actually a huge token of effort for most people.

We’ve all had moments in life where we’ve been through something that makes us feel like we were just sandpapered in all of our vulnerable bits.  We have all taken journeys through healing and expansion that affected pretty much every aspect of our lives.  And yes, we may look back and think ‘I wish that someone would have said this to me when I was going through that part of my journey……’ Here’s the only catch – would you have listened? Would you have accepted someone’s unsolicited advice? Would you be able to recognize the wisdom in someone else’s words when you were in the depths of your journey? (And if you categorically say yes, then I’m going to give you a sarcastic round of applause while contemplating whether your just a fucking liar or if you are truly that deluded.)

It’s human nature to challenge. It’s natural to have to ‘learn the hard way’. There’s nothing wrong with ‘learning the hard way’, as long as you’re learning.  None of us are immune to either side of this struggle. We all have loved ones that we want to help, and I’ve done more than my fair share of spouting off my advice from the bottom of heart. My point is that you can’t really help until the person is ready for it (and they get to decide when they are ready for it). And if you feel that it is your civic duty to espouse your wisdom whether it’s been invited or not, you aren’t really looking to help a friend. You’re basically looking to found a cult based around your righteous indignation.

Happy healing, and Brightest Blessings.

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Intuition: It’s not just for “Psychics”

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When most people think of intuition, they immediately associate it with the realm of the ‘psychic’.  This isn’t an unfair connection to make – those of us that work in the psychic arts do lean heavily on this sense.  I believe that one of the reasons that ‘intuition’ is so unrelatable as a term is that it isn’t particularly well defined to most people.  For me though, it does have a pretty distinct meaning.

I define intuition as an inner knowing.  The technical term for this is claircognizance – or the ‘extrasensory extension of thought or knowledge’.  Still too unapproachable as a definition? Try thinking about it this way.

The mind perceives the world as a series of patterns.  The logical brain takes in, extrapolates,and analyzes data which it then is able to recognize patterns allowing you to interact with the world in a predictable way.  Intuition is the faculty of the mind that allows you to perceive patterns before you have enough ‘logical data’ to recognize them as following any set pattern.

You’re doing this all the time already.  Think of when you go see a mystery movie and you instantly know who is the culprit as soon as they make an appearance on screen. What about when your friend introduces you to their new beau, and you instantly find the timeline for the ending of the relationship flash through your mind, and then it plays out as you expected it?  What about when you send someone a supportive message because you felt like they may need a boost?  All of these are ways that your intuition can sneak into your everyday perception. So why don’t we trust these impressions to guide us?

Blocks to Accessing your Intuition

There are many hurdles to trusting your inner knowing. The big reason for this is that many times these ‘nudges’ don’t speak as loudly as the logical mind.  Also, they don’t have much data to back them up, so the logic train can run over these precious little insights. These are the biggest three ways that logic bullies your intuition.

Doubt

Doubt should totally be a four letter word (I mean, who needs a silent ‘b’ anyways?) Doubt creeps in when the logical mind decides to be passive aggressive and poke at what you just “know” to be true, even though you aren’t sure why you know it.

Negative Mindset

Nothing squelches the intuition like when you get fixated on a bad pattern.  Think about it – when you have a bad day, how does it start off?  When do you decide that it’s going to be a bad day? Then once you have this “realization”, how often can you pull yourself out of this nosedive? Once you start down this path, your logical mind has already recognized the pattern of it being a ‘bad day’.  But this isn’t good enough for the logical mind – it has to REALLY drive the point home, so you just continue to see more and more ‘bad’ pile up in front of you.

Fear

The root of doubt and negative mindsets is almost always fear (which IS a four letter word). If doubt is the logical mind being passive aggressive, and negative thinking is your sense of logic being a being a know-it-all-showoff, then fear is when your sense of logic has decided to be a bully.  Now, there are a lot of different shades of fear, and not all of them should be discarded.  For example, I’m fairly clausterphobic. I hate small spaces! I get nervous, panicky, and yes – downright afraid. I am pretty sure that when I get into an elevator that the walls aren’t going to cave in on me, but I try to honor that fear and take the stairs when it’s feasible to do so.

The kind of fear that I’m talking about is the one that is just as gripping but tries to be polite, almost like a backhanded compliment.  These are the fears that crop up and stand in the way of your happiness because you’ve allowed yourself to believe that something ‘doesn’t make sense’, or that you need a resource to achieve it that you just don’t have access to.  These are the kinds of fear that you want to face head on, dig your heels in and convince yourself that your happiness is worth the risk!

The key to overcoming these hurdles is TRUST.  Many of us find it harder to trust in ourselves than to trust in a divine intelligence orchestrating the Universe.  Give yourself permission to be wrong. Encourage yourself to explore.  Trust in yourself enough to try. So what if you fail – the real threat to your logical mind is if you succeed! In order to learn to trust in yourself – specifically your intuition – try beefing it up and testing it’s limits in by exploring it in your day to day world.

Here are a few ways that you can engage your intuition in your everyday life.

Psychic Navigation

Engage your intuition to help you find the most effective route to your next destination. Let me be clear – I’m not saying close your and trust your inner psychic to do the driving. Nor am I suggesting that you decide to get to somewhere you’ve never been without looking up the directions.  I’m suggesting trust that intuitive nudge that tells you to take an alternate route to work today, maybe to avoid excessive traffic or an accident.

 

“Seems Right”

Play the ‘it seems right’ game.  When your leaving a restaurant or the mall, try to figure out what kind of car the person walking in front of you drives.  Allow yourself to make up “fictitious” backgrounds to people you see based on your intuitive impression of just seeing them. (Even if you’re never able to confirm the information, this allows your mind to expand into that ‘gray area’ of creativity, which is actually a safe space for the intuition to flourish because the logical mind tolerates creativity.) Try matching coffee mugs to your coworkers.  While this may seem like a game, the more you can do this and learn to trust your intuition, the more it will be allowed to just randomly pop up throughout your day.

Psychic Dieting

Most of us know what’s good for our bodies on a general level. We all know living off of pizza is not the road to longevity and health.  However, sometimes we just have an urge to shift what we’re eating. Sometimes it’s a craving, like you really want a cheeseburger.  Other times you just have a notion that you’d feel so much better if you only ate raw fruits and vegetables until dinner.  Pay attention to what you’re sensing. This is also a pretty tricky area to navigate though.  Do you actually sense that the gallon of cookie dough ice cream is a good idea, or are you just having a sugar craving? Many people are truly surprised of the happiness and healthiness that they feel once they ditch any crazy diet rules that they’ve been following because someone else told them that “this is how you do it.”

Judgement versus Intuition

Sometimes you meet someone and you just don’t like them.  I used to have an open door policy in my life, where I gave anyone and everyone a chance because I see the good in people. Now, I’ve learned (the hard way) to follow my gut impression of a person or situation. Become mindful of what your intuition is telling you when you first meet someone.  See if you can identify the reason why you feel a particular way about them – is it how they’re dressed, the tone of their voice, etc.  Follow the flow in your mind to how this has proven true before.  Could you find an example? If so, then you may be dealing with a judgment.  If you find that it ‘just seems like something so and so would do/like/say’…… then you may actually be dealing with a veiled intuitive impression.  Something (an indistinct something) reminds you of someone else. See if you can extend that into how that person reminds you of someone else. When that happens, test your theory against what gave you the initial impression.  Here is a good example of how intuition can sneak an impression in on you. Joey’s shoes seem like something my ex Roger would wear.  What about Joey is bringing Roger to mind?…Roger did cheat on me, a lot actually. But those shoes don’t seem like shoes a cheater would wear. What else could it be……Well, Roger was hugely into his dog Spot, like ridiculously into him, like his whole world revolved around that dog. I bet Joey is a huge dog person.  Those do seem like shoes a dog lover would wear…..

 

Flowing With and Engaging Synchronicity

I like to engage synchronicity to receive messages and guidance.  My personal favorite way to do this is something I call the Combination Lock method.  First, I come up with a set of three or four numbers ranging from 1 to 20 (usually between 1 and 12 though).  For example, I may choose 6, 11 and 3.  Then I’ll go onto Youtube and pick my first video from the starting page. I count down to the 6th recommended video, click on that one, then repeat with the 11th video, then the 3rd.  I will then watch this video for any messages or ‘cosmic hints’ that may pop up.  On occasion, this will lead me to a really long video, at which point I add the the numbers to my ‘combination’ (in this case, 20) and I’ll forward to the 20th minute of the video and look out for messages.   When I try it this time, I end up on a video that’s a song about not feeling good enough for someone, which is something I’ve struggled with in the past. When I repeat the process with the same combination from the mobile app on my phone, I end up on an Abraham Hicks video about how you create together with your beloved.  (See a theme going here.)  So what I take from this is that my day today is about acknowledging my self worth so that I can engage in the process of creating the life that my honey bunny and I desire.

A big part of finding your personal ‘lucky streak’ is being willing to go with the flow of synchronicity.  The Universe is constantly conspiring to put you in the right place at the right time, but for this to be effective you have to pay attention to the nudges that come from that still small quiet space within where the intuition resides. Engage your intuition and set your intention to fall into your flow, then see how far it can take you!

Riding the flow of synchronicity is far more than just having a ‘lucky streak’ though. When you are in alignment with your soul’s purpose and drive, you experience a sense of contentment mixed with a bit of joy and excitement that underpins your awareness. You experience a sense of wonder and emotional ease.  (This is not to say that everything you experience is necessarily ‘easy’, but moreso a that you don’t fight the feeling.)

These are just a few examples of how you can use your sense of intuition or claricognizance to help you in your everyday.  Once you’re able to harness this sense, then you can more readily tap into the wellspring of energy that creates the flow through your life, and ideally you can learn to ride the tide instead of fighting the current.

Brightest Blessings!

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My thoughts on the Orlando Shootings

It takes a lot to stun me, to bring me to my knees.  It takes a lot before I open up and really share through writing. It takes something really huge happening on the world stage before I feel the need to address it.  The shootings in Orlando are that something.

I put a lot of spin on my formative years to make it more palatable.  ‘I was homeschooled because I caught mono in the ninth grade, and then it was just easier to finish high school being homeschooled.’  While that’s the truth, it’s a very colored and edited version of it.  I was relieved when I ended up in the emergency room with a dangerously high fever and my throat swollen nearly to the point of cutting off my breathing.  I was relieved because that meant that I didn’t have to go back to school, back to the beatings and the harassment and general hell that my life had become.

Some would say that my life was difficult growing up in a small town in rural Virginia being openly gay at thirteen.  Some have asked what it was like coming out of the closet, but in truth, I was never really in the closet. I hate the comments that frequently followed that about being so brave to be so open and unashamed! Honestly, my courage was born from innocence, because I had an amazing mother who never once gave me the slightest idea that being anything less than who I am is an acceptable choice, so I naturally thought the rest of the world would follow suit. It did not.

I was gaybashed in school to the point that I had lockers pushed over on me while I was getting ready for gym class. I was harassed by day, yet in the evening the same boys that would harass me would give me the privilige of sucking them off.  I attended a homecoming game, and while I was waiting for my mother to pick me up I was attacked by a group of guys that numbered somewhere around a dozen.  I’m not convinced that I wouldn’t have died had my mother not pulled into the parking lot and actually hit one of them with her jeep.  I remember that attack so well because that was the first time I wore makeup – to hide the bruises.

And that’s where we reach a core issue.  Instead of healing our hurts, we cover them up so that nobody will see them. We don’t talk about them.  We keep them in the shadows, like pain is something to be ashamed of. We don’t talk about the fact that as a society we are still so scared of anything that challenges the structures that have been in place by archaic notions of what defines each and every person. We wear the hat that society dictates. Stay in your lane. Don’t make waves.

When a tragedy like this happens, everyone clamors to lay claim.  It’s terrorism to feed Islamaphobia. It’s a shooting, so it lends fodder to the anti-gun arguments.  Oh, and be sure to not straight-wash this – it was obviously a hate crime against the LGBTQ community. This disturbs me so deeply that I struggle to find words for it, because first and foremost, the victims of this were people.

Watching this happen makes me think of Christianity.  The main symbol of modern Christianity is the cross – the torture device meant to punish and kill Jesus.  Why couldn’t it be the vesica pisces? Why not a chalice to represent the holy grail? Why a cross?  That’s just morbid to me. In the same line of thinking, why do we need a tragedy to unify us a community? WHY DO WE NEED SOMETHING SO TRAUMATIC TO REMIND US TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER?

Don’t get me wrong, the cross has a lot of meaning to me, but it represents something completely different. My cross to bear is that of the crossroads – a symbol of choice. In the struggles I encountered in my youth, my mother didn’t let me be a victim.  She helped me find a youth group for gay teens, then she supported me (insisted actually) as I decided to make a difference and speak in the Virginia House of Representatives and at the Virginia Teachers’ Association. She told me, “If the world sounds cold and cruel, it’s up to you to change the dialogue.”  Right now, I’m standing at the crossroads making a very conscious choice to change the dialogue.

Hate is only going to perpetuate hate.  Blame is a limitless resource.  I’m choosing to love.  I love and forgive Omar Mateen. I hope that I’m never put in the situation that would make me understand what motivated him to this heinous act. I pray for him, and for victims of the shooting.

I pray that we can find a way to create a culture that values dignity, diversity and uniqueness. I pray and bring into being a life filled with an array of different people with different viewpoints than my own, where I am challenged to grow by others that hold a wholly separate way of understanding the world. I pray that I am strong enough to greet each perspective without fear or judgment.

I am choosing to love higher. I am choosing to forgive. I am choosing to be the person that I looked up to when I was younger. I am choosing growth.

Sometimes I’m conveniently “too sensitive” to tolerate large crowds, and it’s true that I can become overwhelmed by all of the emotions and impressions flowing at me. But if I’m completely honest, I’m more overwhelmed by anxiety and fear that I may be attacked. When the man I loved held my hand in public once, I cried in the bathroom when we got home because my nerves were shot. I have been to see my family twice in the past decade because I still feel like I’m going to throw up when I think of returning to where I grew up.  This is not the world I want to live in.  This is not the world I want for the next generation or the generations to come. I want the world I grew up in twenty years ago to be distant outdated memory that has less modern equivalency than women’s suffrage. I want to live in a world that is driven by love and not by fear.  But for that to happen, the dialogue has to change, and for the dialogue to change we all have to share our voices.

This is my voice.  What is the world that you are speaking for?

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Empaths and Manifesting Part 4

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For the purposes of this article, consider ritual as an action that you repeat to help alter your mindset and to help facilitate a certain goal to become manifest. (Think of your bedtime ritual, and how that helps to set the stage for you to unwind and go to sleep.) Ceremonies are any form of conscious action to mark the passage or creation of something you desire.  Wedding ceremonies, birthdays, graduation parties – these are ALL forms of ceremony. They celebrate triumphs, and they ‘make it more real’. A lot of people are intimidated by the word ‘ceremony’ and ‘ritual’. Let’s take a look at each of these as a tool for manifesting from the empath’s perspective.

Ceremonies

Let’s start by dismissing the pomp and circumstance around ceremony.  Ceremonies are something that is completely accessible and useful to everyone. To do this, try thinking of the ceremony as having two parts: the symbolic planning of an event, circumstance or change you wish to manifest; and the celebration that you’re going to have once it’s achieved.

Consider this for a moment. How much power does a wedding ring have? Not much from a practical perspective. It’s a tiny piece of shiny metal that been shaped into an “o” to slide on one of your digits.  It doesn’t stop bullets or raise the dead; most likely no hobbits or halflings dragged it around the world because it’s metaphysical sway could be too dangerous. But it can be a truly magical little piece of jewelry. It has the power to transform a bachelor into a husband, to symbolize a commitment, to mark the end of a journey alone and the beginning of another journey with another. It is a physical embodiment and representation of Love, specifically the love felt between two individuals and the promise of a life built together.

To ceremonially do something, we essentially are using symbolic items and actions to converse with the Universe to plan out and/or mark the change we want to occur. We are symbolically enacting the occurrence, or you can think of it as energetically planning it. This can take on whatever form you want it to. Mark the actions with the use of dolls. Write a list, poem, or prayer then burn it to release it to the Universe after reciting it.  Try the same with a drawing or some other form of art or craft.  The choices are limitless, and frankly while there are some traditional methods and formats that you can use, it’s more about setting the space as sacred and acting within that sacredness.

The word ‘sacred’ comes from old French or Latin – sacrer (French) or sacrare (Latin) – meaning to consecrate, anoint, make holy, or dedicate.  Setting sacred space then can mean to set a space that is anointed and consecrated with the purpose of finding that which makes us whole (holy) and dedicating ourselves to that pursuit.  To create a sacred space, you basically just have to make the circumstances feel sacred.  This can be done through intent alone, or you can add a few props.

Personally, I like to incorporate candles and incense into my ceremonies.  When I strike a match to light a candle, the sound of the match igniting and the burst of flame immediately bring my senses into that space of magic.  I can feel the air warm from the light and I love watching the flame travel down the wick before settling in once it reaches the wax.  It’s entrancing and intoxicating.  I use a lot of glass encased candles (because they are easy to find and seem safer than pillars or tapers to me) but any kind of candle will do.  I like my fancy specialty candles designed for a particular condition, purpose, or to interact with a particular spiritual force. I equally like my multicolored Chanukah candles. But it isn’t the kind of candle that’s all that important – it’s the setting of the Light.

Candles bring light into darkness. You can visualize/actualize a problem that you’re having as being the wax of a candle, then just watch that Light burn it’s way through those issues. If you see yourself as the flame, then write out your goals and place them under the candle as it burns. Watch the flame grow closer and closer to your desires, shedding more and more light on them until finally reaching them.  Rub yourself down with a tealight candle from head to toe and state that all fear/insecurity/negativity/(however you want to word it) is pressing itself into the wax, then watch as the candle burns away all the junk you were holding in your energy field.

Incense is also a powerful ally in crafting a ceremony.  The sense of smell is most strongly associated with memories, and there is an entire science to healing through the olfactory sense (aromatherapy). Incense has always been considered very sacred.  Incense is mentioned as an offering in many ancient holy books, especially resinous incenses like frankincense and myrrh (both of which are amazingly healing substances).  Frankincense has even been proven to help lift the mood, which is an amazing help when you are seeking to leverage your emotions for manifesting!

Smudging is a practice that originates with Native American culture, and is using the smoke from burning herbs to clear and consecrate a space.  The most commonly used herb is white sage, and the smoke from this plant has actually been studied and proven to help kill harmful germs (so I do a lot of smudging during cold and flu season). That being said, white sage is just one plant that’s been used for this purpose. Native wormood, desert sage, and other plants in the Artemisia family have also been used, including mugwort. A form of mugwort is also used in traditional Chinese medicine in a practice called moxibustion. This is where they use the heat and smoke of burning mugwort that’s been aged, then rolled into a moxa stick, to penetrate and clear blocked energy in the acupuncture meridians.

The act of lighting an incense stick and watching the smoke rise to the Heavens carrying your prayers and desires – this is a truly spiritual experience. It’s hard to not feel the sacredness when you pair this particular tool with a manifesting ceremony. As I’ve said, it doesn’t matter so much what you’re doing; what matters is that you are doing it with intent.

After you finish your ceremony, I find it helpful to start planning that celebration of accomplishment that I mentioned earlier.  I usually like to incorporate a piece of the ceremony into my little celebrations just to tie them together. For example, I did a ceremony to be able to attend a training for mediumship in Maine several years ago.  In the ceremony, I prayed over, blessed and consecrated a tie and a small bag of stones. I carried those stones with me everywhere until I got to Maine, and then once there, I wore the tie out to a celebratory dinner at a restaraunt on the water, and I tossed the stones into the ocean as a symbol of my gratitude for the experience. I also wore the tie on the first day of the intensive workshop.

Timing

To get the most bang for your buck, it’s helpful to honor the tides of time by paying attention to specific timing. Some people use astrology, others use the moon cycles, and some honor the days of the week for having particular affinities.  Here is a very brief listing of timing that you can harness to amplify your intent.

Moon Cycles

New moon – new projects, start of something that you want to grow

Waxing moon – gaining momentum or strength, actively growing your intent

Full moon – reaching your goal, shedding light on a subject, the height of power

Waning moon – decreasing or shrinking obstacles, removing problems, troubleshooting

A Sparse List of Astrological Considerations

Mercury Retrograde – turn your thoughts inward, wrap up loose ends (not for starting new projects)

Sun in your sign (around your birthday) – your personal time to shine, height of personal power

Sun in sign opposite your sign (generally about 6 months from your birthday) – Good time to reflecting on self, seeing the situation truthfully

Eclipses (solar and lunar) – heightened time of power, like a sledgehammer tapping a nail into a board (LOTS of energy)

It’s also helpful to consult an astrologer to see how particular planetary transits are going to affect you personally.

Days of the week

Sundays- joy, happiness, wealth

Mondays – intrsopection, emotions, healing

Tuesdays – vigor, strength, physical healing, energy

Wednesdays – intellect, quick changing moods,fast growth, business
Thursdays – stability, long term growth, shoring up defenses

Fridays – love, beauty, luck (also money since for many it’s payday)

Saturday – structure, cutting away the old, laying things to rest

Pulling it all together

I mentioned that rituals are actions that you repeat to help alter your mindset and to facilitate a certain goal to become manifest. By designing a regularly practiced ritual, you bring yourself into conscious alignment with your desired result. It’s all about bringing it all together! Think of the ritual that you construct for yourself as a healthy habit to reinforce your manifesting ability.  And here is a great way to approach it.

First, start by developing your practice of meditation and introspection. Reflect on your desires.  Start journaling and truly get to the core of what your desire is! Use affirmations to help you align with your purpose.  All of these are things that can (and should) be considered on a daily basis.

Then, construct a ceremony bearing in mind the timing that you want to use to reinforce it. If your goal is a long term one, this is a ceremony that you may want to repeat on a weekly or monthly basis. Keep the timing in mind to help you reinforce your ceremonial purpose.

I like to create my vision boxes in a sacred space, so I frequently will utilize a ceremony when crafting one. I’ll have my candles and incense going as I pray my intention into the project. I also like to bless or pray my intention into any stones or charms that I may carry around during a ceremony.

Most importantly, don’t send your awareness into the future. Bring the future to your present moment! In other words, don’t let these actions place all of your attention on what will eventually happen. Remember that these tools are in place to remind you that the feeling that underpins that situation already exists within your life! Gain access to that feeling and grow it! Fertilize the field in which you’re growing your intent. Feel the feeling, the realizing and actualizing of your desire will follow.

So concludes this little series of articles. I hope that this has shown you what amazing and powerful manifesters that empaths can be.  We journeyed all the way from Delphi, explored some yogic philosophy, discussed crafting tools to aid in the realization of our vision and finally using ceremonies to empower that vision into being. We often forget what a blessing empathy can be. It’s hard to see the bright side when you’re covered in emotional muck, but hopefully this slant on manifesting has given you a bit of a different perspective, or at least got you thinking.

Blessings until next time lovebugs!

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Empaths and Manifesting Part 3

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Out of your Mind and Into your Soul

We are so mistaken when we begin to think that we are our thoughts.  Our thoughts are just a reflection – either reflecting and making sense of our environment, or outwardly reflecting the truth at our core, the substance of our Soul.  It can sometimes be difficult to ascertain which is which, especially for the Empath.  We can take on the truth of others and create our whole world around it without even consciously realizing that’s what we’re doing. Once we recognize our truth, then our focus alone can bring that into being.

The tools that we’re going to discuss are primarily geared to helping refine and shift our focus.  As empaths, we tend to live in our intangible world of emotion. It can be really difficult to harness this and maintain the focus long enough to bring about the changes that we desire. We are also more susceptible to the currents of energy in the world around us, and many times it feels like we’re fighting those currents instead of flowing with them. One of the best tools I’ve learned to assist with that is to pay attention to timing. These are the focal points for the last two posts in the series – Tangibility and Timing.

Make it More Real!

The inner world is the natural habitat of the empath. We live more internally than externally, making the commute back and forth between our hearts and our heads. Many times we will get so caught up in this back and forth of thought to emotion to thought to emotion…that we neglect to fully realize our desires out into the world of the physical. Sometimes it just seems easier to allow our desires to play out as fantasies than to actually work to manifest them.

One of the hardest parts of manifesting for an empath is to keep the focus on par with what it is that you’re bringing into creation.  We can so easily get distracted by the needs/wants/desires of other people that our own get lost in the shuffle (or relegated to the realm of daydreams).  One of the best tools I find for this particular issue is Affirmations.

Affirm and Activate

Here is an easy method for using affirmations.  First, craft the affirmation as an ‘I am’ statement.  For the empath, consider what it is that you’re bringing into creation. Then, consider the emotion that this is feeding. Be sure to also include gratitude in your affirmation . Thankfulness is a powerful key to manifestation! Finally, craft your statement in the present tense that leads with the emotion that generates the manifested result. Let me show you what I mean.

I am so happy and grateful for my job that recognizes my contributions to the company. (or I am so happy and grateful for my workplace that loves and respects me.)

I am so grateful for the love I have with my partner.

I am so thankful and blessed in my new home in the countryside with the fireplace and the polebarn. 

Once you’ve crafted your statement of intent, you need to make it your statement of attent(ion)! In other words, you have to activate it.  Easiest method: Look yourself square in the eye in a mirror and repeat your statement roughly ten times. Do this a few times a day. Then, empath it out! Find the little things in your that bring the same emotion that your statement expressed.  These are the moments that are fueling your rocket of desire out of your mind and into the manifest world. By attaching gratitude to your statement, it becomes a little easier.  Look for what makes you feel grateful.  (And don’t hold out for the world-changing shift to find gratitude! Be grateful for your work supplying real creamer for your coffee instead of the powdered stuff. Find thankfulness that you got a great parking space. Express your thanks for your neighbor smiling at you and wishing you a good morning.)

Keep a watch for the little tokens of the emotional fuel of your affirmation as well. Taking from our examples above, be happy for being able to laugh at the funny joke a coworker told you, or the email you got from a client at work.  Reflect the love that you see between your best friend and their partner (or if everyone you know is single – or should be – then look to Hollywood for couples that embody the type of love that you are looking for. Find a movie that paints the picture of your ideal mate and watch it.) From there, seek out the things that bring more of that feeling. For instance, drive around the countryside and take it in as the feeling of ‘home’.  Take yourself on the date that you want your soon-to-be significant other to take you on.

Accountability is also a great tool to help facilitate the shaping of your world. Tell a trusted friend about what you’re bringing into existence.  When you do this, don’t tell them what you want to do. Tell them that you’re doing it. “I’ve decided that I’m going to move to the countryside and buy a farm.” or “I’m ready for a relationship again and this one is going to knock my socks off.” This helps to bring it further into the manifested reality of your life.  Now somebody knows your intention, and don’t be surprised when they start to help bring that into being with you. We are all emissaries of the Universe and you never know – that friend may tell you about the opening at another company that’s your dream job, or go with you to the open house for your new home.

Now, admittedly many of us have some precursory work to do to help boost our manifesting ability.  (This is a nice way of saying that we’ve all got baggage that may stand in the way to our happiness.) Here’s a test to see how clear your path to manifesting is. Look in the mirror and state this affirmation: I am smart. I am loved beyond reason. I am beautiful. And I am worthy. 

What is your reaction to this? How does it make you feel? Uncomfortable? Do you avoid looking into your own eyes? Does it make you want to cry? Do you feel kind of sick to your stomach when you say it? These are common reactions!! We are taught that we simply aren’t good enough, and that this is the reason why we don’t have nice things.  This is a fantastic affirmation that kick starts our healing process to bring us back on the mark towards being who we really are.

Vision Boxes

The first thing that many people find when they look into manifesting their reality is frequently Vision Boards.  I don’t think that these are particularly effective for empaths.  Why? Because empaths tend to be much more tactile people. This is a blanket statement, of course, but it seems to hold true.  The other downfall of the vision board is that it doesn’t incite action. What do you do with your vision board? You look at it. Then what?…..

I think that we tend to do much better with things like Vision Boxes. Craft a box in the same manner you would a vision board.  Place images on it that bring out the emotion that is fueling your manifestation and that embody the change that you are consciously creating. Put pictures of happy couples on it, or of people happily working, or of the decor that you will have in your new house, etc. Don’t forget about the inside! Line it with felt or satin, or put pictures on the inside of the lid too!

Next, make a commitment that you will place something in the box on a regular basis that brings you closer to your goal.  You want to go on a big vacation? Start placing money inside the box to save for it, but not just the money. Pin the money to a note of what you intend to use that money for on your vacation.  And it doesn’t have to be huge amounts. (I mean, your bank account may be a safer place to store the bulk of your cash). Put in a ten dollar bill with a note that this is to buy your first margarita on the beach.  Find out how much the admission is to the museum you want to go to on your vacation and put that in the box.  You could also put your plane tickets in there once they’re purchased, or even a picture or the receipt for the new swimsuit you just bought. In this way, you are actively working towards that goal and every time you open that box to add your latest ‘donation’, then you will feel the excitement build for that goal!

What happens when your box is all full and you can’t fit anything else in it?  Well, if you’re stashing your money in the box, take the cash and deposit it but leave all of the notes that you attached to it. If it’s full of treasures to support your manifestation, then it may be time to make a bigger box! Each time you make a new box, it’s also a chance to refine your focus and expand your goal.

The Vision Box shows you that you are in fact bringing your desire into reality, and gives you the visible evidence to prove it!

Tokens and Talismans

Some gemstones and crystals can help you manifest your desires more easily.  Citrine, kyanite, red chalcedony and apatite are all in this category. But, as with all things in the art of manifesting, they are most powerful when you pair them with awareness and action. As a matter of fact, the actual token that you use doesn’t have to be made or crafted of any particular material or substance.  It’s far more important that it activates a part of your awareness and helps to bolster your attention.

Gratitude stones or charms can are small simple items that you place in your pocket.  Anytime you touch them, take the space of three breaths to yourself.  The first breath, focus on feeling appreciation and gratitude for whatever is happening in that moment.  With the second breath, find the place of connection with whoever is around you in the moment and think of something that you are grateful for about them.  Third breath, bring to mind what you are manifesting and silently give your thanks for it being a part of your life.  When using the gratitude charm, try to remember to smile.

Another type of token can be a special form of jewelry – a ring, necklace, bracelet, whatever. Whenever you feel a positive emotion that you want to fuel your desire, then touch the piece of jewelry. Conversely, any time you touch, brush or fidget with the piece of jewelry (consciously or if you catch yourself doing it unconsciously) then find something in that moment that evokes a sense of peace, gratitude, joy, or any other positive emotion that can be used to fuel your desire.

These are just a few tools to consider when honing your focus and aligning your emotions with your desires.  In the fourth and final installment of the series we will take a look at using ceremony and ritual to help our manifesting ability.

Click here for Part 4 of the Empaths and Manifesting Series.

 

 

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Empaths and Manifesting Part 2

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Nothing to Excess

When it comes to manifesting, nobody really talks about going overboard, and how if you aren’t clear on what your intentions are, it’s ridiculously easy to sabotage yourself. This is especially true of empaths.  Empaths gravitate towards excess.  If a little is good, then a LOT must be better, right?  Here’s the trouble with that mindset: it’s actually hiding something else.  It’s an easy fix for not being clear on your baseline.  For example, how many people have tried to manifest winning the lottery or just randomly coming across a couple of million dollars? And how many of these people were successful?…….Exactly.

Having a crap ton of money sounds great on paper, but that’s not what most people actually want.  Think about it, will staring at stacks of cash lined up in front of you bring you the sense of joy and satisfaction that you’re attempting to manifest?  (Sure, okay, yes. I get it – you would totally do the super mega happy dance if that happened – who wouldn’t? But, how long will those pieces of paper bring you joy on their own?)  Most folks don’t necessarily want the money itself – they want the freedom that the money represents.

It’s also an easy band-aid for the lazy approach to manifesting.  Let’s say you want to move to Hawaii. What is it that you actually focus on manifesting?……The money to do it. In your mind, the money is the only thing standing in your way. If you had a million dollars, then you would totally move to Hawaii without a second thought! But, what does it take to live in Hawaii? How is it you plan on moving? Are you just going to leave your stuff here and get all new stuff when you move? Where in Hawaii do you want to live? What is it about Hawaii that draws you; does it feel like home, or does it feel like a vacation? Are you looking to move towards the island life, or are you just trying to get away from the life you’ve created where you currently reside?

This ties in to why empaths tend towards excess.  When you take the weight of the world onto your shoulders, you end up trying to escape that weight somehow.  This can be through excessive (sometimes addictive) habits – eating, shopping, even exercise. Empaths swing to the extremes in our actions in an attempt to numb the pain, give a little more ‘cushion’, etc.  The deeper message that you are actually aiming for : “I want to be strong enough/have enough for…..”. In reality, what this is telling the Universe: “I’m not strong enough” or “I don’t have enough”.  Another interpretation is  “I want a situation that gives me permission to not worry about……”.  Guess what – you have that permission.  You don’t need your situation to change to lay those burdens down.  And despite what you may have been taught in this wacky world, worrying and bearing someone’s burden is NOT the same as caring for them. Guilt, burden and worry are not the same as Love, Compassion and Care.

Here’s a little food for thought: Is the third slice of cake any more enjoyable than the first? Notice how I’m in no way suggesting that cake is anything less than a divine experience when done properly. Nor am I even remotely hinting that you should not enjoy some cake. Eat cake to your heart’s content – and that’s the point I’m making.  The heart is content with the first piece of cake.  The second, well, we can let that slide – maybe you’re having a decadent dinner of dessert. In that case, eat away! Enjoy the hell out of it! But in all honesty, are you going to be satisfied by anything less than the whole cake? What happens when the cake is gone? When we move into excessive mindset and behavior, what we are actually feeding is a mentality of lack.  We are trying to stockpile and enjoy the cake now because we’re already anticipating that moment when the cake is gone, so we better get our fill while we can.

I know that this could read as a giant “what not to do” list, so let’s leave Delphi and travel a bit further East for a bit of inspiration.

Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra 2.46

Sthira-sukham asanam

Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra is the sacred writing that most modern yoga practice actually stems from. It’s a writing of philosophy and practice that talks about the true aim of yoga, which is a form of spiritual union.  So let’s pull this little gem out as a guidepost.  ‘Sthira-sukham asanam’ is most often translated to “posture (asana) [should be] stable (sthira) and comfortable (sukha)”.  That’s a great translation, but a more literal translation is “resolutely abide in a good space”.  *

Sthira can be translated to be firm, strong, courageous. Sukha is more literally gentle, joyful, virtuous. And while asana most often refers to yoga postures (at least in the West), it’s etymological root means to dwell, inhabit, to be present.  To me, this is a guidepost to manifesting amazingness! I’ve taken this to mean:

Joyfully and Courageously Be Present.

Joyful – check. Courageous – we got it.  Being present – this is where we frequently get tangled up.  Being present means to be fully engaged in the world in the way that it’s currently presenting itself to you. This means to be engaged and conscious with the actual, tangible world in front of you – not escaping it by gluing your nose to your smartphone, or by eating/drinking/shopping/whatevering the experience away. What’s probably the most difficult is not sinking into your world of thought that’s either aimed at playing the past over and over, or playing out the many potentials of the future to give yourself a since of escape (or to allow yourself time to brace for all the things that could go wrong).

You’ve gotta go out of your mind to get into your Soul. Breathe deeply. Dance madly. Allow yourself the space to be absolutely wild and crazy! The future that you’re manifesting is not divorced from the present that you’re living. The more we place a focus into the future without bringing it into the now, the more likely we are to use the art of manifestation as an escape instead of a tool of conscious co-creation.

There are lots of ways to get out of your mind and into your Soul, which will be what the third and final post in this series addresses.

Click here for part 3 of the Empaths and Manifesting series.

 

*See https://yogainternational.com/article/view/sthira-and-sukha-steadiness-and-ease for a great article on Sukha and Sthira in yoga practice BY ROBERT SVOBODA & SCOTT BLOSSOM, which is also where I pulled the translations from.

 

Articles

Empaths and Manifesting Part 1

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Empaths and Manifesting Part 1: The Wise Walls of the Delphi Temple

Manifesting is easy. We do it all the time. There is so much material on consciously creating your reality that is available out there already. (I’m having a torrid love affair with the teachings of Abraham at the moment). When engaging the Law of Attraction to consciously co-create your experience the Universe, there are many different theories and approaches, but they all have one thing in common: your emotions are a key component.  Emotions act as both a fuel for your desires, as well as a guidance system for when you’re off the beaten path towards your goals. Because of this, empaths have a unique challenge when it comes to manifesting.

Empaths frequently have the added challenge of having to sort through their emotional landscape to determine what is theirs versus what is someone else’s emotional experience.  This can be confusing and detrimental to the process of creating our world, or it can be a beautiful boost to our ability to create.

It’s important to remember that we are always manifesting.  ALWAYS. The first step to doing this more effectively is to be conscious of how and what we manifest. This is where I look to the wisdom of the temple of Delphi for guidance. On the walls of temple where the famous oracles were revered is the most simple and profound phrase: Know Thyself. This is coupled with a lesser revered piece of wisdom carved into the walls as well: Nothing to Excess. These are the two key phrases that guided the oracles at Delphi, as well as the people that came to see them.

Know Thyself

Knowing yourself has a few different components to it for empaths.  First, we have to be fully aware of what OUR emotional state is.  To know this, we have to find our emotional baseline – that frequency that we are operating at on any given day.  I find it helpful to become aware of the baseline as soon as I wake. Try keeping an impression journal: start your day by recording your dreams if you remember them, but also take a good look at what you’re feeling.  When we sleep, we go through a little bit of a ‘re-boot’, which allows us to engage the world from an entirely different perspective than what we had the day before.

“But what if I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” No worries! This happens to the best of us! First though, let’s correct this line of thinking. There is no ‘wrong’ side of the bed.  How you feel is how you feel.  Honor your baseline, even if it isn’t exactly where you want it to be. This gives you a prime opportunity to shift your emotional frequency to a place that’s more appealing.  When this happens, it’s actually a wonderful gift – the opportunity to truly explore where you are, in this moment.  What is this feeling telling you? How is your emotional guidance system telling you that you are out of alignment with your current circumstance?  Are you off the path to what it is that you’re telling the Universe that you want to realize?  Are you just off-beat – trying to dance against the rhythm of the Universe instead of being in time with it?  If this is the case, are you resisting, or maybe you’re trying to move faster than the currents of creation? These are just a few points to ponder, to get you thinking of what’s brewing beneath the surface.

When you rise, give yourself a few moments of contemplation. Sit for a moment and look to the core of your baseline.  What do you wish to change about that feeling? What aspect of your emotional landscape do you want to heighten? (Be careful here! It’s really easy to identify that part that we don’t want. Realization of it is one thing, but don’t let that be the seed driving you. You’re feeding the feeling with your focus, so make sure that you’re feeding the flowers and not the weeds.) Once you’re aware of this focal point, figure out all of the things that can support it and help it to flourish, then start bringing those things into being.

The key point to remember here is to be in the present moment. Let’s look at an example to illustrate this point and tie this all together. Say you’re wanting to consciously manifest a new job for yourself, and you wake up on the ‘wrong’ side of the bed.  Once you sit in contemplation, you realize that it’s because you don’t want to go in to your present job today.  When you dig in, you realize that you have lost all love for your position. Why? Let’s say that it’s because you’re bored and unappreciated. That’s great! We have a starting point! How can you feed the feelings of excitement and appreciation? These don’t have to be earth-shattering kind of actions. Decide to wear something bold, something that’s exciting and makes you smile. You can take a different route into your job.  Maybe pick up donuts or a card for an office mate that shows how much you appreciate them. Once you shift your mind into this space, then think about ways to manifest that new job. Give your resume the once over and consider changing a phrase or two to something a bit more exciting. (For instance, instead of ‘receptionist’ or answering phones’, you could ‘help direct and connect callers to the resources that can help them the most’.) Then, it’s a matter of finding and following your inspiration. Once you create the proper emotional environment for your manifestation to become sustained, then it magnetizes to you! It already exists – you’ve already created it. It’s about holding the space for it to express into the world around you. It’s drawn to you like a magnet.

Now, for empaths, having this baseline also helps you to be more aware of what is yours and what’s someone elses. Empaths are exquisite manifesters because the emotional charge is a bit higher than other folks’ might be. But this can create a lot of turmoil and heartache too, because we tend to take on other people’s junk as our own.  By feeding your own baseline, you will start to notice that your emotional output is stronger too. Your good mood becomes infectious. You may also notice that certain people just aren’t around you as much. That’s because empaths are super magnets! We attract what’s in alignment with our field of creation, and those things that aren’t simply don’t stick. The people and situations that aren’t in alignment with you are either ‘repelled’ by your vibration because it doesn’t match their own, or because you’re manifesting so much of your focused desire that they just don’t command the same attention from you.

Imagine, if you will, a sheet of aluminium foil with iron filings on it. When you run the magnet across the surface, the iron filings will attract and stick to the magnet, but the aluminium foil (even though it’s metal) just stays there. And what happens to the iron filings on the magnet? They carry that magnetic charge through them and attract more iron filings. Empaths function like an electromagnet – that extra voltage super charges and grows that magnetic field. The trick is to make sure that your magnetic field is being charged by focusing on what you do want instead of what you don’t.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t come into contact with people or situations that aren’t ‘magnetizable’; but it does mean that those people and situations won’t stick to you, as long as you don’t shift your focus into alignment with their focus.  Keep your focus on your own baseline, and you’ll soon find that they just aren’t woven into the fabric of your reality – they are more like a loose thread that eventually falls away.

In Part 2 of the Empaths and Manifesting series, we will talk about the other part of the idiom – Nothing to Excess – as well as look further east for some inspiration. (Part 2 will be posted a little later this week.)

Click here to go to Part 2 of the Empaths and Manifesting series.