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Feeling Some Kind of Way

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Feeling some kind of way. If you’re like me, you use this rather imprecise phrase to describe a rather pointed feeling that you have. For most, it’s just another way of saying that something’s bothering them. For me though, it goes a little deeper, and it has some heftier subtext to it.

When I’m feeling some kind of way, I’m usually experiencing one of three things. I may be experiencing emotional/cognitive dissonance, or I may be having a bought of mystic melancholy or divine discontent. On rare occasions, I’m just straight up pissed off and grumpy about something, but for whatever reason I’m trying to be a bit more polite or tactful about expressing it. (That tends to be a rarity for me NOT because I’m too enlightened to experience such negative moods, but because I tend to be more vocal and less concerned about putting it as politely as ‘feeling some kind of way’.)

While we all occasionally experience a case of cranky’s, that’s not really the focus of this article. Let’s look at these other shades of feeling and go into some detail though.

Cognitive and Emotional Dissonance 

Cognitive dissonance is the experience of holding two conflicting viewpoints or beliefs at the same time.  Emotional dissonance is basically the feeling that you get when you’re examining something that threatens your sense of identity. I am lumping these two together for the purposes of this article because I tend to have the most experience with them in the same context. (And I suspect that many of the folks reading are of the intuitive leaning, so I imagine that you may be having these experiences without realizing it.)

Empaths and intuitives will have impressions or experiences that make them question their own sanity.  Many of these experiences are actually cognitive or emotional dissonance. Many (if not most) of these experiences are triggered by over-identifying with someone else’s energy – be it emotional, mental or experiential.  So we just need to be able to say “This isn’t my crap! I don’t have to deal with it! Yay!” and then move on, right?? If only it were that simple!

Being open enough to experience another person’s perspective frequently means encountering emotions, opinions and ideas that are foreign to your own.   Identifying when these thoughts and feelings originate with someone else is truly an art-form that empaths in particular have to develop for survival.  Dissonance occurs when something gets stuck in works.  This can only occur when it’s illuminating an aspect of our own experience that strikes some sort of resonance with the ‘guest thought/emotion’.

When such a resonance occurs, it becomes your responsibility to explore this territory. This is one of those beautiful moments that you get to learn something more about yourself! And guess what? A lot of times, we don’t greet these moments with leaps of joy because they tend to be uncomfortable.

Let me give you an example that I got to witness a few years ago.  A heterosexual male friend of mine was present while I was discussing the attractiveness of a guy that had come into the shop I was working in with a female co-worker.  The straight friend piped in and agreed that the fellow in question was indeed attractive.  He even went on to disagree with my co-worker and I about what the fellow’s most attractive feature was.  Then I saw it wash over his face.  Blessedly, he felt comfortable enough with me to be able to talk through the train of thought causing him some dissonance.  He questioned how he found the cute guy attractive, and started to really wonder if he may have some latent gay feelings, and it was making him rather uncomfortable.  He explored this sensation, and over the course of about a week was able to confidently affirm that he is indeed straight, but falls a little more towards the middle of the Kinsey scale of sexuality than he originally thought.  The struggle for him was visibly uncomfortable as he wrestled with how he defined his attraction, but he walked away from the experience feeling more enlightened.

This kind of moment is all too common for intuitives and empaths.  That said, it is an invitation, not an excuse.  It’s an invitation to know yourself more deeply, which my personal belief says that this is the prime reason for our experience in the human day-to-day world.  This is by no means an excuse to belittle or berate others’ views, or worse yet, martyr yourself.  (I see this waaaaayyyyy too often.)

For me, just knowing that this has a name helps me to navigate through the experience of dissonance. I’m not usually happy when it’s occurring, but I’m always grateful for the growth that it brings.

Mystic Melancholy and Divine Discontent

These are two terms that I became familiar while reading an author named Orion Foxwood (fantastic author on fairy traditions, southern conjure and witchcraft). Both of these experiences are driven from the level of spirit.  It isn’t uncommon to feel down or to feel like things need to change.  Sometimes though, the feeling surpasses what we normally experience as depression. That’s not even necessarily that we’re feeling lower than usually do, but that there’s a difference. The feeling runs deeper, and there’s a sense of longing with it.  I describe it like my soul is singing a song that I can’t remember the words to.  This is mystic melancholy.

Mystic melancholy occurs when your soul is longing for a connection that’s missing.  A lot of times this can be confusing because we often don’t have a conscious idea or experience of what it is that we’re missing.  We just know that part of us is reaching out for something that isn’t there in the moment.

Conversely, Divine Discontent occurs when change needs to occur, usually because we are out of our soul’s flow. Most often, we are doing something to gum up the works, and this will manifest as an anxiety or nearly compulsive need to change something around.  Many times we displace the feeling into changing things that we have more immediate control over, but this is just a coping mechanism.  Divine discontent presents itself when we are just plain out of alignment with our deeper purpose.

Let me give a current example through my own personal sob story. (I am a good Pisces, so I’m great at martyring myself and whining, so why not put it to good use in my writing, right?) So, some time ago, I decided that I needed to have a more normal working experience than to be a full time psychic reader.  (Just believe me when I say I had my reasons, and the financial aspect was not the most driving one – but definitely did factor in.) I felt like I needed a normal job with a steady paycheck.  So I found one, and then promptly found a much better one. I took the job and I love my coworkers (and I even love my supervisor. As a matter of fact, I love most of the supervisors there. The people I work with are kind of amazing!) I set my intention with the Universe, and this job very quickly manifested and was everything I could’ve wanted in a ‘normal’ job.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long before I started getting antsy.  This rapidly progressed into dreading having to go into work.  All the while, I’m trying to adjust other factors of my life to compensate.  I adjusted my schedule, my diet, rearranged furniture – I projected my discontent into every other area of my life.  And what does it boil down to? I’m out of alignment with putting more time into a job than into my calling.

That’s right – my desire for normal and predictable completely screwed me over.  Now, does that mean that I’m going to completely screw someone else over in turn by just up and quitting? No.  No amount of personal pain or struggle entitles you to be hurtful to someone else.  And just because I stepped out of alignment doesn’t give me permission to be irresponsible to step back into my alignment.  I have plans in place to be able to transition back to my full-time magical lifestyle, and I’ve been open and honest with my supervisor about my intention. We found a date range that will be the least detrimental for me to leave the company, and I intend to stick it out until then (unless the Universe gives me a huge clue-by-four across the head that I need to not wait it out).

So, when I’m feeling some kind of way, the first thing I try to do is dig a little deeper so that I have a clear picture of my motivations and where my feeling is coming from.  When I feel this way, I usually know that there’s something else brewing under the surface. I may not be able to slap a band-aid on it and call it good, but once I’ve acknowledged the complete picture of what’s happening with me I find some peace. This peace comes from the fact that moving through my discomfort has led me to deeper and more satisfying experiences of joy in my life.  And while it doesn’t usually make the experience any less intense, this does seem to grant me enough strength and patience to see my way through it. It is my hope that this article can help you with recognizing this process in your own life, so that you can take the reigns and embrace the change instead of getting in your own way.
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Brightest Blessings!

 

Articles

Empaths and Manifesting Part 1

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Empaths and Manifesting Part 1: The Wise Walls of the Delphi Temple

Manifesting is easy. We do it all the time. There is so much material on consciously creating your reality that is available out there already. (I’m having a torrid love affair with the teachings of Abraham at the moment). When engaging the Law of Attraction to consciously co-create your experience the Universe, there are many different theories and approaches, but they all have one thing in common: your emotions are a key component.  Emotions act as both a fuel for your desires, as well as a guidance system for when you’re off the beaten path towards your goals. Because of this, empaths have a unique challenge when it comes to manifesting.

Empaths frequently have the added challenge of having to sort through their emotional landscape to determine what is theirs versus what is someone else’s emotional experience.  This can be confusing and detrimental to the process of creating our world, or it can be a beautiful boost to our ability to create.

It’s important to remember that we are always manifesting.  ALWAYS. The first step to doing this more effectively is to be conscious of how and what we manifest. This is where I look to the wisdom of the temple of Delphi for guidance. On the walls of temple where the famous oracles were revered is the most simple and profound phrase: Know Thyself. This is coupled with a lesser revered piece of wisdom carved into the walls as well: Nothing to Excess. These are the two key phrases that guided the oracles at Delphi, as well as the people that came to see them.

Know Thyself

Knowing yourself has a few different components to it for empaths.  First, we have to be fully aware of what OUR emotional state is.  To know this, we have to find our emotional baseline – that frequency that we are operating at on any given day.  I find it helpful to become aware of the baseline as soon as I wake. Try keeping an impression journal: start your day by recording your dreams if you remember them, but also take a good look at what you’re feeling.  When we sleep, we go through a little bit of a ‘re-boot’, which allows us to engage the world from an entirely different perspective than what we had the day before.

“But what if I wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” No worries! This happens to the best of us! First though, let’s correct this line of thinking. There is no ‘wrong’ side of the bed.  How you feel is how you feel.  Honor your baseline, even if it isn’t exactly where you want it to be. This gives you a prime opportunity to shift your emotional frequency to a place that’s more appealing.  When this happens, it’s actually a wonderful gift – the opportunity to truly explore where you are, in this moment.  What is this feeling telling you? How is your emotional guidance system telling you that you are out of alignment with your current circumstance?  Are you off the path to what it is that you’re telling the Universe that you want to realize?  Are you just off-beat – trying to dance against the rhythm of the Universe instead of being in time with it?  If this is the case, are you resisting, or maybe you’re trying to move faster than the currents of creation? These are just a few points to ponder, to get you thinking of what’s brewing beneath the surface.

When you rise, give yourself a few moments of contemplation. Sit for a moment and look to the core of your baseline.  What do you wish to change about that feeling? What aspect of your emotional landscape do you want to heighten? (Be careful here! It’s really easy to identify that part that we don’t want. Realization of it is one thing, but don’t let that be the seed driving you. You’re feeding the feeling with your focus, so make sure that you’re feeding the flowers and not the weeds.) Once you’re aware of this focal point, figure out all of the things that can support it and help it to flourish, then start bringing those things into being.

The key point to remember here is to be in the present moment. Let’s look at an example to illustrate this point and tie this all together. Say you’re wanting to consciously manifest a new job for yourself, and you wake up on the ‘wrong’ side of the bed.  Once you sit in contemplation, you realize that it’s because you don’t want to go in to your present job today.  When you dig in, you realize that you have lost all love for your position. Why? Let’s say that it’s because you’re bored and unappreciated. That’s great! We have a starting point! How can you feed the feelings of excitement and appreciation? These don’t have to be earth-shattering kind of actions. Decide to wear something bold, something that’s exciting and makes you smile. You can take a different route into your job.  Maybe pick up donuts or a card for an office mate that shows how much you appreciate them. Once you shift your mind into this space, then think about ways to manifest that new job. Give your resume the once over and consider changing a phrase or two to something a bit more exciting. (For instance, instead of ‘receptionist’ or answering phones’, you could ‘help direct and connect callers to the resources that can help them the most’.) Then, it’s a matter of finding and following your inspiration. Once you create the proper emotional environment for your manifestation to become sustained, then it magnetizes to you! It already exists – you’ve already created it. It’s about holding the space for it to express into the world around you. It’s drawn to you like a magnet.

Now, for empaths, having this baseline also helps you to be more aware of what is yours and what’s someone elses. Empaths are exquisite manifesters because the emotional charge is a bit higher than other folks’ might be. But this can create a lot of turmoil and heartache too, because we tend to take on other people’s junk as our own.  By feeding your own baseline, you will start to notice that your emotional output is stronger too. Your good mood becomes infectious. You may also notice that certain people just aren’t around you as much. That’s because empaths are super magnets! We attract what’s in alignment with our field of creation, and those things that aren’t simply don’t stick. The people and situations that aren’t in alignment with you are either ‘repelled’ by your vibration because it doesn’t match their own, or because you’re manifesting so much of your focused desire that they just don’t command the same attention from you.

Imagine, if you will, a sheet of aluminium foil with iron filings on it. When you run the magnet across the surface, the iron filings will attract and stick to the magnet, but the aluminium foil (even though it’s metal) just stays there. And what happens to the iron filings on the magnet? They carry that magnetic charge through them and attract more iron filings. Empaths function like an electromagnet – that extra voltage super charges and grows that magnetic field. The trick is to make sure that your magnetic field is being charged by focusing on what you do want instead of what you don’t.

This doesn’t mean that you won’t come into contact with people or situations that aren’t ‘magnetizable’; but it does mean that those people and situations won’t stick to you, as long as you don’t shift your focus into alignment with their focus.  Keep your focus on your own baseline, and you’ll soon find that they just aren’t woven into the fabric of your reality – they are more like a loose thread that eventually falls away.

In Part 2 of the Empaths and Manifesting series, we will talk about the other part of the idiom – Nothing to Excess – as well as look further east for some inspiration. (Part 2 will be posted a little later this week.)

Click here to go to Part 2 of the Empaths and Manifesting series.